Life: I should be...*

I really should be doing homework, or laundry, or cleaning, or pulling dreadful weeds, but today I'm not entertaining the should be's. Today, I am saying yes to all the wants in my life. Too many days are wasted on the should be's. I should be doing this, I should be saying that, I should be wearing this, I should be feeling this, I should be, I should be, I should be, but no more! Enough with the should's. I'm making a pact with myself to just BE. No more should's allowed!

 Last night I had a dream. (Lets pretend for a moment I am the woman version of Martin Luther King Jr.) 

Last night I had a dream.....

I had a dream where I was talking to myself. My dream self whispered in my ear to stop censoring myself. Images of my writing from my earlier days of blogging appeared. My posts were vulnerable, and from the heart, and full of creativity. They flowed without hesitation because I wasn't thinking about what I should be writing, but I allowed the words from my mind escape to the page without filter. I let myself be. I didn't stop to think if I was offending anyone. I didn't stop to think if what I was writing pertained to my readers. I didn't stop to think about others opinions or judgements. I didn't think about my readers at all. I started my blog because I think too much. I am constantly drowning in thoughts on a daily basis, and my blog was my life boat. Lately, my thoughts have become my anchor because I have let the should be's pull me further and further under water. I want my breath back. I want to bring my head above water and breath in all that God has for me. I want to type without hesitation, without filter, without care. I want to be vulnerable. I want to lay my fears, my worries, my goals, my achievements, my excitement, and my moments on life's' raft and let them float to the surface. I want to cut the anchor, and breath life into my writing. Writing is my oxygen. 

Today. I no longer allow the should be's to drown me. This blog is mine. This blog is my lifeguard in my life's moments. Moments I need saving, and moments I need applauded. Moments I never want to forget, and moments I need direction. 

Today I replace the should be's with am's. 

I should be AM a writer.