Farmer's Wife: 3 things in 3 years*

Three years ago on February 19, 2012 I promised for better or for worse to a man I didn't think I could love anymore than I did on that day. Three years later, I thought wrong. My love for him has grown immensely in more ways than one. As we celebrated our anniversary these past couple days, I caught myself on more than one occasion staring in awe at this man that I get to call my husband, and thinking to myself how truly lucky I am.  On the way home I couldn't help but think about where we were a few years ago, and where we are now. 

In three years we have learned how to love each other in our own unique ways, we have shared countless memories that will forever be cherished, we have faced the loss of loved ones, a tragedy that put our love in perspective, and many moments of laughter. We have both held one another as tears overcame us, and stood strong for one another as we both fought our own battles. We have grown individually, but most importantly we have grown together. Marriage has not always been easy for us, but through it all; the highs, the lows, the happy moments, and the tough times, our love continues to get stronger. 

Here are three things I believe have helped us get to where we are today. 

FORGIVENESS: 
"A successful marriage isn't the union of two perfect people. It's that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness" 

One thing I struggled with early on in our marriage is forgiveness. My husband, God love him, is not perfect. He screws up. Just like I screw up. Learning to forgive, and forgive quickly, has changed our marriage. My husband will never be perfect just like I will never be perfect. We won't always make the best decisions when it comes to each other, and we might not always be as kind as we should, or as giving to one another as we hoped. Our flaws will rear their ugly heads more than we wished they would, and despite our best efforts, we will hurt each other. At the end of the day we can choose to let all those imperfections cloud our vision, or we can choose to see one another through forgiving eyes. 

LAUGHTER: 

"All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you" 

In my opinion laughter is the glue that holds a marriage together. One of the reasons I fell head over heels for my husband is because he makes me laugh, and he laughs  with me when I am being my goofy self. They say that as you grow older together you start to resemble one another in a sense-well its only been three years, and Cody and I are already catching ourselves laughing like each other. He does this one eye closed laugh, and now I'm doing it way more than I would prefer because I don't look as cute as he does when he's doing it, but hey I guess that's love for ya. I'm a firm believe that a couple who laughs together (and alike) stays together! 

COMMUNICATION: 

"A genuine effort to understand another person goes a long way in the path to communication" 

Man oh man has this one been a tough one for us to figure out. Meet my husband, Mr. Stubborn. Meet myself, Mrs. Even More Stubborn. We both think we are right 99.9% of the time. After many years of trying to figure out why our wants and needs weren't being communicated effectively we stopped trying to fix how we communicate, and started learning to understand one another. I am the type to hint around at something and assume my husband is a mind reader, ironically so is my husband. Once we realized that neither of us were very good at picking up hints (no matter how spelled out they were) we started communicating a lot better. My husband also has had to  learn that I communicate much better when affectionate words/actions are used- I can't tell you how many arguments we've managed to miss simply because he starts the conversation with "you look so beautiful when you are mad!" LOL Kidding! ... well kind of ;) I have also had to learn that my husband communicates best when it's simple and to the point. If I start repeating myself or getting too emotional it'll only be a matter of time before I've lost his attention. Obviously we still don't always get it right, but we've come a long way from the days when we thought telepathy actually existed in our marriage. 

So to all the married folk out there, the best advice I can give you is to love and learn, and laugh a whole lot! 

Cheers to many more years of happiness from a farmer and his wife who are still on the journey of figuring this whole marriage thing out!